I got some great answers from “the pros” and “regular joes”. Here they are:
THE PROS
From BibleMoneyMatters.com :
“I think that in many instances people get offended when you give them money because there is an implied power relationship when it comes to money. For example, If you give me money, then I “owe you”. I’m now in your debt, and you have power over me because of it. Even if the money is given as a gift, often it will come with other emotional or relational strings attached – implied ones.
The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. Proverbs 22:7
Because of the strong relationship with money and power, people are often hesitant to accept a gift because it means that they are giving up a small piece of their freedom. Because of that, in some cases an anonymous gift might be a better option.” - BibleMoneyMatters
From FreeMoneyFinance.com :
“I think it’s because people are embarrassed to admit that they need help. So they react with anger or act as if they are insulted by a gift. This is why we try to do our giving in secret as much as possible or make the gift part of some other “event” (like a birthday, anniversary, etc.).” – FreeMoneyFinance
From ChristianPF.com :
“I believe that there is a Biblically appropriate way to receive a gift. It is to receive the gift from the giver in appreciation rather than making the person feel awkward or continually saying “You really didn’t need to do this” etc… As one who previously lived the philosophy of “if you scratch my back, I will scratch yours” I immediately saw a gift given to me as something that I would have to pay back. So, I often didn’t want to receive an unexpected gift, because now I have to figure out how to pay that person back.
As I’ve grown in my knowledge of God, I am better understanding that He loves to give gifts to His kids and wants us to receive them rather than leaving them sit on the shelf. Jesus dying for us is a perfect example. I will never understand why God loved me so much that He would give such a ridiculous gift to me, but that doesn’t matter. The best thing I can do is just graciously accept the gift He has given to me and use it to bless others. “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be required…” Luke 12:48
Just as we should receive from God with a thankful heart, I believe we should do the same from those around us. I have had to work on my “receiving” skills as I have been given some gifts from people that challenged me. But a very appreciative “thank you” makes the other person feel so much better than awkwardly acting like they shouldn’t have gotten it for you, or not accepting it.” – ChristianPF.com
From ProvidentPlan.com :
“Great question. As far as the why behind people being offended, it’s hard to tell. It depends on the individual. It could be pride/self-reliance – the I can take care of myself mentality. It could be jealousy at the fact that you have the ability to be generous while they don’t. Or it could be that the recipient feels they must be poor if you’re trying to help them (or you think they’re poor) while they don’t think of themselves that way (or don’t want to).I think you need to be tactful when giving. Your attitude and approach matter a lot when it comes to how others will receive your gifts. There may be some people you can never give to without offending them. If you still want to give to that person, my suggestion is to do it anonymously. Givinganon.org is a great way to do that.” – ProvidentPlanning
From OneMoneyDesign.com :
“Great question! I’ve actually experienced this situation so I’m excited to give you my thoughts. My wife actually helped me see the light here.In short, I had an extra ticket to a sporting event. I took it to the stadium hoping to give it to someone who needed it (perhaps save some money for a family). When I gave the ticket away, the person took it but seemed unappreciative. At least they weren’t as appreciative as I had wanted them to be.And that was the problem. I was focusing on me in my giving. My job, whether giving a sports ticket or helping someone in need is to extend a gift out of love. That is what Jesus did for us. He loved us and He gave. We are to do the same. We shouldn’t expect anything in return for the gift. Our joy should come from giving and not the reaction. So, my approach from now on is to be as prayerful in my giving as possible. Perhaps it’s a small prayer at the sporting event to find the right person. They may seem ungrateful or even offended by the gift. Maybe some won’t take it, but that’s okay. Again, my job is to extend the gift and then trust God to take it from there.” -OneMoneyDesign
From DebtFreeAdventure.com :
“I would wager to say that the offense people take is directly related to the approach taken by the giver. If the giver gives anonymously, or in secret (so that only the receiving party is aware of the transaction) there is much less like to be any ill feelings toward the gift.” – DebtFreeAdventure
REGULAR JOES
“That is why we are instructed to keep our giving a secret.” – Stuart
”I know what you mean. I have had this happen more than once. I guess it is because people feel like you think you are better than them. As if, somehow, giving a ‘gift’ to someone puts you above them on the social ladder.” – Jennifer
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